So when I stummble off this path, I know my heart will guide me back

Watch "Erykah Badu - Didn't Cha Know" on YouTube

Summer Rain

Rain, Rain
Wash it all away
Take the pain
From where it stems
And never let it come
Back to me again.

Rain, Rain
I pray to you today
As you pour from the sky
I pray that you help me
Water those seeds that were meant to grow
I pray that you may
Bless those that have already sprouted
I pray that for those whom have seen their last Sun
That you may allow them to sink back into the Earth
To refertilize the soil where we grow

Rain, Rain
Only you may know

Rain, Rain
Assist and guide us

Rain, Rain
Thank you for visiting us on this summer day.

Slave Song

I see them gathered, see them on the shore
I turned to look once more
And he who knows me not
Takes me to the belly of darkness
The tears run swift and hard
And when they fall
Even, even the comfort of a stone
Would be a gain

There was a time when I thought
I would have to give up
But I'm thankful that I'm
Strong as I am and I'll
Try to do the best I can
Tears will run swift
And tears will come that fall like rain
I pray that it's swift though
Tears will fall as cold as pain

I pray to the Almighty
Let me not to him do
As he has unto me
Teach my beloved children
Who have been enslaved
To reach for the light continually

So many times I prayed
So many times I've prayed for you
Prayed for you
The tears run swift and hard and cold as pain
Even, even the comfort of a stone would be a gain

Had I not had the strength and wisdom of a warrior
I would have to give up
But I'm thankful that I'm
Strong as I am and I'll
Try to do the best I can
Tears will run swift
And tears will come that fall like rain
I pray that it's swift though
Tears will fall as cold as pain

I pray to the Almighty
Let us not do as he has unto us
Teach my beloved children I've been a slave
But reached for the light continually

Wisdom is the flame
Wisdom is the brave warrior
Who will carry us into the Sun
I pray that it's swift though
Tears will come that fall like rain

So many times, so many times

I don't deserve this
FOCUS


STOP, LET GO.



PRESENCE.

it was just my imagination... running away with me

nostalgic of a past that will never manifest in the future

a hopeful romantic that romanticizes love even in the midst of war

insecure of my own strength but i am learning it is what has made me strong

terca because i love costumbre and long for stability

but dang, bad habits ARE hard to break

and the hard life has become routine

i blame myself because i am a risk-taker and i hate rules as much as followers

i don't know when to give up even if it consumes the best of me

when everyone tells me it won't work, i only try harder

i guess i am a dreamer but why is that so wrong?

when i didn't lose hope in you, you didn't tell me to snap out of it

yes i have a divided mind

my dreams contradict and my reality is not much different

i have yet to accept that sometimes giving up is OK

we all have our own journey and learning processes

i can no longer get broken hearted because a mended heart never forgets

i am a forever kinda girl because fuck it, nothing is forever

yet while everything changes- my commitment, loyalty, and trust remain the same

i only wish i could realize that forever is only momentarily

like the people that come into our lives, we too will one day go

i am where i come from, but where i want to be is up to me

confessions of a red headed colored girl.

Is it really too much to ask for?

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at the edge

of my own little world.

where I will forever be.

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In time, everything changes.

If I healed from the separation of a seven year relationship, I know I can heal from these past seven months. Moving stronger than before, with many lessons learned and some that I had to re-learn the hard way, I know I will be okay. And you will too.

I gave you all my love. You had me all. We could have had it all. I took risks. I tried the best I could. And I will always know there are two-sides to every story.

I am no longer who I was yesterday.

To grow is to live. And I wont let myself ever be uprooted.

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I DO NOT BELIEVE THE CONDITIONS THAT PRODUCED A SITUATION THAT DEMANDED A SONG LIKE THAT!

But the feelings are there... all we can try to do is change ourselves and the conditions around us... so we may love one another better than before.

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la Lucha tiene Cienfuegos en su corazon

Se tropizo en un amor que nunca estubo tan lejano de su alrededor.
Se le entrego completamente.
El fue quien renacio inciendos en su mente.
Puras locuras es lo que encontro.
Ninguno supo que tanto amor trairia momentos instantes de dolor.
Pero no importo tener que saberlo todo.
Al fin un amor revolucionario se da sus propias revolcaderas.
Cyclos que dejaria a cualquira llena de preguntas, al querrer saber lo todo, al querrer control completo.
Pero nada fue escrito en concreto.
Niciquiera al saber que las letras de su nombre ya las tenia escritas en su pecho.
Pronto realizaron que el amor tambien es telichudo, embarazado de imperfeccion, y lleno de buena intention.
Infinito, Hasta llegar a otra dimension.
Al fin lo unico que importo fue que sus caminos cruzaron y empezaron ha escarbar la tierra.
Se enlistesaron, armados para construir una nueva fundacion.
Fuerte y peligrosa para sobrevivir qualquir temblor.
Entonces, que importo que la gente no creio en un amor tan puro?
Que importo que tanto rumor circulo y no pudo tener su ma~na escandalosa?
Lo unico que importo fue que se enamoraron de la vida sin temor y al pesar de tantos amores fracasados sigueron luchando.
Amaron para vivir.
Vivieron para amar.
Lo unico que importo fue reconozer que vivir es sentir, cambiar y crecer, y al fin fue una bella creacion que el universo fortalezo a la Lucha con Cienfuegos en su corazon.

3-2012

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Creation System

Poetry comes to me
when my mind aint at ease
when i least desire to put thought to paper
when i find myself tangled in emotions
for the moment
all i want is to be
immersed in it
or to use it
to tap into my dreams
so i sleep sometimes
but i do so to awaken
a paralysis that seems stagnant
to transfer into another state of mind
another state of being
for the times that sleep is luxury
i dream awaken
it forces me to be creative
cuz that paralysis remains in the present
forcing me to address it
not that dreams are an escape
or that realities are stagnant
but that neither is ever what we make of it
because everything is always changing
we just gotta recognize it
embrace it
and somehow find a way to live with it

Dijo Su Nombre

whoo whoo, dice la Lechuza

nuestro camino comenzo cuando la carretera termino

Luna llena, brillante
no fallaste en illuinar nuestros pasos

Mujeres de varios lugares
cargando los cargos de sus orijens, ancestros, y communidades
Mujer hechizera, majica, eres diosa
que nunca se te olvide
sin temor
eres poderosa
eres tuya
completa
pero juntas
somos imparables

whoo whoo, dice la Luchuza

aprendimos que el peor animal es el humano
encabronado vino el gringo al ver la fuerza de nuestra precencia
los quiso correr
como sus abuelos hicieron tambien
que inherieron las montañas
mataron y ganaron
que barbaros y bestiales
victimas de su propria construcion

y estamos aqui ofreciendo alabanzas
para los nativos que han murido y los que siguen luchando
para nosotras que cargamos cargos
y que nunca fallamos en recordanos 

oraciones para el fuego en el centro
y para el fuego profundamente adentro
que a pesar de tantos siglos de genocidio
nuestro alimiento, sudor, y canto
sigue causando incendios

whoo whoo, dice la Lechuza
whoo whoo, dice la Lechuza

para que aprendamos a escuchar nuestro al rededor
ese lenguaje escrito en la tierra, el cuerpo de nuestra madre
escrito en el cielo, donde las estrallas cosmicas saltan y bailan

para hoir, sentir, y vivir lo inmaginable
para que la sabiduria sea compartida
para que no tengamos temor de lo desconocido

como la Lechuza poderosa
que fue castrada por cantar y transformar

whoo whoo, nos dice

escucha

como la Lechuza furiosa
que vuela entre vientos femeninos y masculinos

como la Lechuza violenta
que defiende su nombre simplemente por seguir su existencia

como la Lechuza callejera
que al pesar de la obscuridar sigue volando

como la Lechuza salvaje
que nos recuerda de acuerdos rotos

nos acordamos
estamos presente

como la Lechuza, whoo whoo
como la Lechuza, whoo whoo

que ni de aqui y ni de aya
vive en nosotras

whoo whoo

Amor Profundo

Pertenesco en el viento
escape infinito
sin rumbo
viajando
me escapo

si pudiera entrar al oceano
profundo
quisiera que fuera
d e s p a c i o
ese mar eterno
comienza y termina
en el mismo momento

estoy volando
en cielos reconocidos
donde en mis sueños
nadie dijo que no se pudo

miles veces me despierto
una vida llena de recuerdos
pudiera recorer el mundo
conozer lo desconocido
ser espectador de todo
ganarme el gran loto
pero solo a realizar que lo unico
que necesito
es esto que tengo
profundamente adentro

camino soñando
con brazos abiertos
abrazando lo derramado
como si nunca me hubiera ahogado
en un amor fracacionado

sigo luchando 
y muchas veces me caigo
pero sin llanto
y muy despacio
me levanto

al fin es solo un amor profundo
que nadie supo
pero como el fuego
inquieto
se entrego
completo

They Resist. We Survive.

we tried for so long
never gave up
kept up the faith
till the very end
now we are near the edge of our own creation
a creation story ready to unfold
this time through our own making

some may fear cuz they have driven us close to the edge
i am free cuz i made this life my own
a place, a space, a way to exist
a beginning point in a lifetime of struggle
not gonna give in
not gonna give my strength away
not gonna let it funnel to a system of death

i am who i make it
it begins in the now
in the way that we eat
behave, sustain
in the way we relate
to each other
to our mother of flesh and blood
but also to the one that sustains us all
the one made of earth, wind, water, and fire
it is She the reason we are still alive
for all those who have yet to recognize
get it with
but not for show
for the seeds we have yet to see grow
a clandestine movement of rebirth
to recultivate the soil beneath our feet
those who prepare will be the ones to survive
to tell the story of how we traveled the world
only to learn that we had to return
to where we come from
this meant we had to unlearn
decolonize
these eyes
from the ways we was hypnotized
a painful process
of letting go

for so many years we had to hold back
we did what we had to do to survive
living in the moment
to feed our beybehs
the best we could
with all our strength
we worked the land
for the masters greed
leaving us only the scraps eat
but we did what we could
with all that we were given
making something outta nothing
and from it gave birth to our imaginations
a way to envision another realidad
to put it into practice
when times were hard
but no mo' junk food
just food for thought
take it or leave it
get with it or get left behind
cuz we been ready
yeah a lil crazy
preparing with the gun
to take the steps necessary
to enter that space where dreams collide
where rebels rise up
to defend our visions
and go beyond resistance

the world as we know it is in the final chapter
the world as we make it has only begun
now i know that i may sound a lil hungry
but the reality is
i am a starving child
not gonna die in this generation
with my hands locked in chains
we gotta harvest our own creations
cuz the city is a tumblin' down
rapidly we losing our occupations
from mental enslavement
no mo' state governance
of our bodies, of our minds
the demise of the power structure begins
in the now
now for those who is too scared
to think without being told
how to heal
i dare ya to take a leap
cuz you aint alone
this tradition is over 500 years old

for the ones that came before us
this one is for you
but for us too
cuz we one and the same
ancestral roots give life to the veins
that sustain our strength
as these prayer rise with the smoke
from the ashes will be born
another sun
we reach out for its light
with open arms
fearless
staring straight with eyes
that can tap into the soul
into that otha realm
its inevitable
the story has already been told

Enough

I wanna be enough
that when you with me
you want nobody else
that you will miss me
when i am away
sway with the rhythms
of my own motions
don't gotta rock em off the boat
trust that with time
my emotions will only grow
its coo with me
if you aint there with me
or if i aint there with you
for me it don't even matter
so long as we goin in the same direction

Another day..

soul seeking

Even if time zones create distinct worlds among us

We fly in different skies.
sunrise, sunset.

Even if our lack of feria makes us take advantage that one of our neighbors internet ain't blocked

Virtual sex, its electrik.
Re-energized, recharged.

Even if we gotta buy the cheapest phone service to stay connected

A foundation of frustrations.
Buenos dias mi vida, I love you too.

Cuz even if we are growing apart

We remain.
Soul seeking, Souljahs.

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what am I doing here?

I ask myself that a couple of times a day.


With time I feel more disconnected with my community.
Reading about my elementary school becoming a charter school. Catching up with the lives of my sisters on facebook. Sharing those intimate moments with my boo on skype. This isn't living. It is an illusion we construct as reality.


And out of all places I am in New York, Manhattan to be specific. The city that attracts a bunch of folks who want see the urban city as a resume-building opportunity. From the teach for america teachers, to the non-paid interns, to the graduate students flooded in loans, oh my... what am I doing here?

My time is exhausted with all the reading and writing that academia requires. I pay about $250 for every lecture I attend. Fancy power points full of information that I already read in the books I already paid for. Graduate courses, when too large become lectures, when small become reading clubs, oh my what am I doing here? 


The metro lines are the city's veins. And the people, always in and out, are what keeps it going. I can't help to feel a sadness when everyone always looks like a zombie. Especially in this cold weather. No one wants to be out. 


Being in the belly of the beast has taught me a thing or two about what it eats to sustain itself. I know very well what its diet consist of, what it loves to eat, how it nourishes and strengthens itself. The question is can I exist in the belly of the beast without letting it consuming me? Can I really be in the belly of the beast and kill it, without killing myself in the process?  


All these questions... oh my, what am I doing here?

Nothing is Forever.

"Slow Dancing In A Burning Room"

It's not a silly little moment,
It's not the storm before the calm.
This is the deep and dying breath of
This love that we've been working on.

Can't seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms.
Nobody's gonna come and save you,
We pulled too many false alarms.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.

I was the one you always dreamed of,
You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.

I'll make the most of all the sadness,
You'll be a bitch because you can.
You try to hit me just to hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
Because you can't understand.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.

Go cry about it - why don't you?
Go cry about it - why don't you?
Go cry about it - why don't you?

My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room.

Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?

Rejuvenacion

La vida
un ciclo de movimientos ardientes
Como las monarchas de mi tierra Purepecha
vuelo alta entre papalotes echos de plastico
mirando hacia enfrente rumbos desconocidos
mirando hacia atras... ay ya no puedo recordar!
ahora son puras memorias reconstruidas
solo se que en este viaje, sola no estoy.

Mis caminos cambiando con las temporadas
refugiada me quedare en un mundo zordo
mi familia creciendo con las distacias
mi curso de vida infinito
cada dia aceptando esa muerte natural
aprendiendo ha perder
aprendiendo ha derramar
aprendiendo ha dejarme caer
aprendiendo ha aceptar la realidad
aprendiendo ha aprender, preguntar, y escuchar.

Como las monarchas de mi tierra Purepecha
hamos realizado que para saltar y volar es necesario transformar
si juntos aprendemos ha desamprender
juntos aprenderemos ha sobrevivir.