Rejuvenacion

La vida
un ciclo de movimientos ardientes
Como las monarchas de mi tierra Purepecha
vuelo alta entre papalotes echos de plastico
mirando hacia enfrente rumbos desconocidos
mirando hacia atras... ay ya no puedo recordar!
ahora son puras memorias reconstruidas
solo se que en este viaje, sola no estoy.

Mis caminos cambiando con las temporadas
refugiada me quedare en un mundo zordo
mi familia creciendo con las distacias
mi curso de vida infinito
cada dia aceptando esa muerte natural
aprendiendo ha perder
aprendiendo ha derramar
aprendiendo ha dejarme caer
aprendiendo ha aceptar la realidad
aprendiendo ha aprender, preguntar, y escuchar.

Como las monarchas de mi tierra Purepecha
hamos realizado que para saltar y volar es necesario transformar
si juntos aprendemos ha desamprender
juntos aprenderemos ha sobrevivir.

Let me just tell you now, that cookie cutter ain't workin here.

I feel silenced in the classroom for not being academic enough. Too straight up, not sophisticated enough.

I feel silenced in the streets for being too academic. Too de la high, not down enough.

Live by ur own words.

No more bandage solutions from the top, at the end of the day its a system of death and destruction that will only serve the rich. Let the Republikkkans and Demokkkrats keep “fighting” for political power. These politrikkks of fear do not fundamentally change how the people suffer on a daily. No more shackles on our brains. No more fear of this repressive police state. WE NEED A TRUE COUNTER FORCE, A REVOLUTION.

In this revolutionary process, that we are already in, we are gon need everyone, everywhere. Hasta los que no tienen tacos para comer! And for this reason we all need a broader analysis' of those interlocking systems of domination that perm...eate the lives of folks that think their actions are powerless against the system. It will be a revolution of inclusion, not exclusion. It won't be as black and white as the "inside and outside" dichotomy of struggle we so often submit to.

No need to call anyone a Tom simply cuz they are throwin putasos "in the inside". We know very well academia is a colonial tool that has historically been used to control the powerless, to make them think they are powerless. In the same way that other levels of government continue to be used for colonization rather than liberation. In spite of this, some have used those dominant social institutions to reclaim knowledge that has been brutally taken away. Therefore, we cannot completely shut our brothers and sisters fighting within the system for political reasons such as liberating the mind from over 500 years of colonization. There is, however, a problem when folks buy into it, become careerist, and they do it all for their own gain, power, and privilege. Or when folks do missionary work that perpetuates a system of domination that is more self-fulfilling than anything else and that views the common folk as powerless within their own reality. The worst is when people actually believe that everything is okay the way it is because otherwise there would be anarchy. That is colonization at its best. You see these social systems were meant to control our minds, our imaginations, and our spiritual freedom. That is why we have schooling, "criminal justice" systems, etc. Yet, we can't be using hateful language to exclude folks who are still able to imagine another world in the midst of all that violence. You are attacking the wrong... folks. This revolution won't be governed by oppression Olympics or activist battles on who is "more down".

This revolutionary process won't be like any other we've ever seen before. This empire isn't falling the same way that others have historically fallen. The politics of fear that govern our social institutions are only going to intensify with time. Rather than to live in fear that the FBI might know this form of thought, I welcome this transformative process we are in. Like every war we have ever experienced, lives have already been lost in the struggle. No more of that "peaceful" rhetoric to reform the institution of death and destruction. In the end all it does is pacify people into accepting the way "life is suppose to be". Sorry I will never starve myself for reform. That was done at its fullest effect 40 years ago with the Civil Rights Movement. People have been starving their whole lives and have resorted to creation not destruction. Creating living systems of inclusion. Every community is different and should have the right to govern they way they see fit. You see, in this war we all want to eat different kind of tacos and many of us just don't like tacos to begin with. Its the struggle of coexistence, where no one wants to be dominated and everyone wants to be able to create their own ways of living.

Child(in da)hood

Mujercita
Creces en un mundo sordo
Donde llantos lejanos viven ‘bajo un mismo techo
Y al fin los quedamos aislados en la vida de rutina.

Mujercita
Vives en un mundo siego
Cuando en las calles las paredes no hablaran en tu nombre
Lo han visto todo y al fin los quedamos invisibles.

Mujercita
Trucha, que risas de innocencia terminan su baile sin aplausos
Esos charcos de agua apareceran como lagrimas, de repente y temporal.
En la ciudad pasos de la vida no son facil y al fin seguiras luchando.

Mujer
La hora que te quitaran tu niñez ya viene llegando
Y al fin siguiras adelante
Esta ves con tus alas para seguir volando.

My love is too roller-coaster to have thrown back on my face.

I just watched the film For Colored Girls. There was a scene when all the characters came together and each one said "My love is too ___ to have thrown on my face." I was inspired and must write about it soon. In the meantime, I'll fill in the blank.

All the womyn laughed while one said, "Yes, and you remember that when a man tries to walk off with all your stuff."

this was really the day before.

Today.
I woke up feeling cold.
I felt fat at times.
I felt lazy.
I felt uncomfortable.
I ditched class.
I didn't do anything in 2 of my classes.
I wanted to cry.
I loved the way the sun's heat touched my skin.
I was disgusted by the smog coming from a car.
I thought to myself, "how can people be so rude?"
I was dissappointed in the fact that Bush will be our president for 4 more years.
I wanted to lay down on tall grass and feel bugs crawl on me.
I again thought, "so I guess tomorrow never comes."
I wished I was somewhere other than were I was.
I felt like dying my hair, crimson.
I bite my nails without really realizing it.
I wanted to get home and lay on my bed.
I was happy at the thought that today I have no homework.
I felt confused.
I felt as if I was in a place I didn't have to be.. I didn't want to be in.
I thought about how happy people look.
I thought about my thoughts.
I wasn't hungry, but I aet.
I didn't want to look in the mirror.
I felt a bit of jealousy.
I hear gossip.
I told someone to shut up.
I felt anger in me.
I thought, 'why do unimportaint things matter to people?'
I felt annoyed.
I wanted someone to hug me.
I talked to friends.
I walked alone.
I hugged and kissed my cat.
I reflected on the day.
I looked at things outside my body.
I wanted to scream from the top of my lungs and hope no one will hear me.
I hoped the phone rang.
I wondered what I would do on the next day.
I thought about when I heard, 'this is what a feminist looks like.'
I wonder what it would feel to be someone else's shoes.
I thought about how I felt and gave up.

 

[Reminiscing about my past as I looked through my online journals.. I found this. I still remember those days when I thought I was wiser than most my age. Posted on 11/04/2004.]

preparing for the coldest winter of my life!

Zanahorias, beets, ginger, celery, and apples for more sweetness! 

 

building my immunities so that I can continue giving it my all! 

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