Another day..

soul seeking

Even if time zones create distinct worlds among us

We fly in different skies.
sunrise, sunset.

Even if our lack of feria makes us take advantage that one of our neighbors internet ain't blocked

Virtual sex, its electrik.
Re-energized, recharged.

Even if we gotta buy the cheapest phone service to stay connected

A foundation of frustrations.
Buenos dias mi vida, I love you too.

Cuz even if we are growing apart

We remain.
Soul seeking, Souljahs.

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what am I doing here?

I ask myself that a couple of times a day.


With time I feel more disconnected with my community.
Reading about my elementary school becoming a charter school. Catching up with the lives of my sisters on facebook. Sharing those intimate moments with my boo on skype. This isn't living. It is an illusion we construct as reality.


And out of all places I am in New York, Manhattan to be specific. The city that attracts a bunch of folks who want see the urban city as a resume-building opportunity. From the teach for america teachers, to the non-paid interns, to the graduate students flooded in loans, oh my... what am I doing here?

My time is exhausted with all the reading and writing that academia requires. I pay about $250 for every lecture I attend. Fancy power points full of information that I already read in the books I already paid for. Graduate courses, when too large become lectures, when small become reading clubs, oh my what am I doing here? 


The metro lines are the city's veins. And the people, always in and out, are what keeps it going. I can't help to feel a sadness when everyone always looks like a zombie. Especially in this cold weather. No one wants to be out. 


Being in the belly of the beast has taught me a thing or two about what it eats to sustain itself. I know very well what its diet consist of, what it loves to eat, how it nourishes and strengthens itself. The question is can I exist in the belly of the beast without letting it consuming me? Can I really be in the belly of the beast and kill it, without killing myself in the process?  


All these questions... oh my, what am I doing here?

Nothing is Forever.

"Slow Dancing In A Burning Room"

It's not a silly little moment,
It's not the storm before the calm.
This is the deep and dying breath of
This love that we've been working on.

Can't seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms.
Nobody's gonna come and save you,
We pulled too many false alarms.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.

I was the one you always dreamed of,
You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.

I'll make the most of all the sadness,
You'll be a bitch because you can.
You try to hit me just to hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
Because you can't understand.

We're going down,
And you can see it too.
We're going down,
And you know that we're doomed.
My dear,
We're slow dancing in a burning room.

Go cry about it - why don't you?
Go cry about it - why don't you?
Go cry about it - why don't you?

My dear, we're slow dancing in a burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room,
Burning room.

Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we oughta know by now?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow?

Rejuvenacion

La vida
un ciclo de movimientos ardientes
Como las monarchas de mi tierra Purepecha
vuelo alta entre papalotes echos de plastico
mirando hacia enfrente rumbos desconocidos
mirando hacia atras... ay ya no puedo recordar!
ahora son puras memorias reconstruidas
solo se que en este viaje, sola no estoy.

Mis caminos cambiando con las temporadas
refugiada me quedare en un mundo zordo
mi familia creciendo con las distacias
mi curso de vida infinito
cada dia aceptando esa muerte natural
aprendiendo ha perder
aprendiendo ha derramar
aprendiendo ha dejarme caer
aprendiendo ha aceptar la realidad
aprendiendo ha aprender, preguntar, y escuchar.

Como las monarchas de mi tierra Purepecha
hamos realizado que para saltar y volar es necesario transformar
si juntos aprendemos ha desamprender
juntos aprenderemos ha sobrevivir.

Let me just tell you now, that cookie cutter ain't workin here.

I feel silenced in the classroom for not being academic enough. Too straight up, not sophisticated enough.

I feel silenced in the streets for being too academic. Too de la high, not down enough.

Live by ur own words.

No more bandage solutions from the top, at the end of the day its a system of death and destruction that will only serve the rich. Let the Republikkkans and Demokkkrats keep “fighting” for political power. These politrikkks of fear do not fundamentally change how the people suffer on a daily. No more shackles on our brains. No more fear of this repressive police state. WE NEED A TRUE COUNTER FORCE, A REVOLUTION.

In this revolutionary process, that we are already in, we are gon need everyone, everywhere. Hasta los que no tienen tacos para comer! And for this reason we all need a broader analysis' of those interlocking systems of domination that perm...eate the lives of folks that think their actions are powerless against the system. It will be a revolution of inclusion, not exclusion. It won't be as black and white as the "inside and outside" dichotomy of struggle we so often submit to.

No need to call anyone a Tom simply cuz they are throwin putasos "in the inside". We know very well academia is a colonial tool that has historically been used to control the powerless, to make them think they are powerless. In the same way that other levels of government continue to be used for colonization rather than liberation. In spite of this, some have used those dominant social institutions to reclaim knowledge that has been brutally taken away. Therefore, we cannot completely shut our brothers and sisters fighting within the system for political reasons such as liberating the mind from over 500 years of colonization. There is, however, a problem when folks buy into it, become careerist, and they do it all for their own gain, power, and privilege. Or when folks do missionary work that perpetuates a system of domination that is more self-fulfilling than anything else and that views the common folk as powerless within their own reality. The worst is when people actually believe that everything is okay the way it is because otherwise there would be anarchy. That is colonization at its best. You see these social systems were meant to control our minds, our imaginations, and our spiritual freedom. That is why we have schooling, "criminal justice" systems, etc. Yet, we can't be using hateful language to exclude folks who are still able to imagine another world in the midst of all that violence. You are attacking the wrong... folks. This revolution won't be governed by oppression Olympics or activist battles on who is "more down".

This revolutionary process won't be like any other we've ever seen before. This empire isn't falling the same way that others have historically fallen. The politics of fear that govern our social institutions are only going to intensify with time. Rather than to live in fear that the FBI might know this form of thought, I welcome this transformative process we are in. Like every war we have ever experienced, lives have already been lost in the struggle. No more of that "peaceful" rhetoric to reform the institution of death and destruction. In the end all it does is pacify people into accepting the way "life is suppose to be". Sorry I will never starve myself for reform. That was done at its fullest effect 40 years ago with the Civil Rights Movement. People have been starving their whole lives and have resorted to creation not destruction. Creating living systems of inclusion. Every community is different and should have the right to govern they way they see fit. You see, in this war we all want to eat different kind of tacos and many of us just don't like tacos to begin with. Its the struggle of coexistence, where no one wants to be dominated and everyone wants to be able to create their own ways of living.